Great to have you back Jean and Doreen - all ship shape and Bristol fashion. We all need extended shore leave sometimes. I don't know about the rest of you but I can't wait to get started on my training for the Olympics. I can't quite decide which sport to concentrate on, being so good at so many sports and very agile I will have to think about it unless you have an idea for me. I am glad to hear that Jean has been practising so hard at the pole vault (no wonder you broke three poles. Garden canes are not meant for that purpose.)

I think Eleanor should make individual cakes for each sport with appropriate toppings and decorations. They will look amazing (never mind what they taste like ) I had heard a rumour that Doreen was seen tearing around Dartmouth jumping over everything she came across. I think she must be practising for the hurdles, secretly. Although, she did come unstuck trying to jump over a traffic warden who gave her an on the spot fine Now Kathleen. What a great job for you - Official Starter!!! You can borrow my cannon. I can give you lessons if you like. Oh by the way Doreen. Can Amanda borrow your tea trolley to put the barley water on and please make sure the wheels are well oiled as she will have to move pretty rapidly to catch up with Jenni who has invented a new Olympic sport; yes! you've guessed - shimmying to the left

Who let Lynn loose in the swimming pool The high diving board is now the low diving board. We really must get that chain saw off her before she does more damage. Well I'm off to Julie's now to see how far she has got with the flags. I'm not sure she realises how many countries are involved.

Im quite confident I can handle the starting pistol - sometimes the old ways are better, and you just can`t depend on modern technology these days. I`ll make sure I keep to the side of the track out of the way of the runners, and there won`t be any false starts, I can guarantee that.

Doreen dear, has nobody told you that rugby isn`t an Olympic sport? I know you`re dying to get into a scrum with the rugby boys, but it would help if you are at the same venue as the rest of us. You want to be careful going over those hurdles - they`re quite high, you know.

I can see Jean and her pole are going to cause problems - as you say, she seems to be a bit confused as to what she`s meant to do with it. I`m sure she`ll get the hang of it after a few more goes.

Umm, I think I`ll stick to a pistol, Sheila, rather than a cannon - less margin for error, so to speak, as long as I keep it pointing skywards.

I hear that Julie`s getting knitters` cramp, with all those flags - she`ll be ok after a little rest I think.

Well girls! I now know what I am going to be doing in the Olympics. Remember how well the Scottish Ladies Curling Team did? Well I fancy a bit of curling. I have always been a bit of a dab hand with the old sponge rollers and have a lot of experience with a hairdryer, so here I go. What do you think?

Hair, hair! Who mentioned hair! Have just been reliably informed that Lyn has recovered from her scissor phase but has now acquired a chainsaw. Tom Daley is very upset as he cannot practice in view of her antics at the high board, which, of course, is now the low board.

I think that Kathleen should do very well with the pistol! And she always has the option to use it for the shooting events which is yet another olympic sport we will / should have a competitor in.

Doreen is best left alone when she thinks that rugby is involved in the olympics. I am in talks with the president of the olympic committee re including rugby as a female spectator sport! Who knows, if I can make enough from the sale of my cake, we could have a sizable (whisper) 'incentive' for it to be included.

Now Jean, this has gone beyond a joke. I really cannot make any more excuses to our neighbours, who live in the houseboats alongside the Arc Royal, for the disappearance of their garden canes. We may need to send off for the correct pole which will cost us even more cake as well as Doreen's cups of tea. Indeed , we may well need to acquire more supplies to exceed the 10 foot cake already planned.

Now Sheila, curling is a great idea! I am wondering what you would all think about this for our team sport? We still have the cold weather gear from our attendance at the winter olympics (don't mention Kathleen in the marquee ) so should look rather dashing on the ice! What do we all think of this? Off course, we must not mention anything to Lyn now that she is in charge of the chainsaw! I dread to think what she could do to the ice!

How is Julie doing with the flags? She may have to suspend this until she has finished our team flag for the opening ceremony. We should look very dashing with the wheeled commode, Dor's tea trolley, the new pole, our mascot Neddy and of course Dr Who.

When are the Winter Olympics? If they come before the summer ones next year there`s not a lot of time to practice our curling.You do know curling is a winter sport, Sheila.......................................don`t you??

Eleanor, of course I shall be glad to enter the pistol shooting event - how hard can it be? I can easily set up a target and practice. Will Jean lend me her furry ear-muffs do you think? Otherwise my ears will be ringing after each practice.

I saw it on the TV news about all the disappearing canes from allotments in various parts of the country - Nick has ours under lock and key in case Jean makes a sortie up here.

What`s Doreen going to do if there`s no rugby going on? She won`t be content with just serving teas - I think she`s hoping for a free pass into the hospitality tent so she can hob-knob with the celebrities. They`ll all have a great time if they get some of Eleanor`s cake!!

Brilliant Jean! Do you know Kathleen, you're right. I quite fancy the floor exercises myself. A couple of triple flips and a cartwheel It's no more than I do every evening to limber up. Do you think Doreen needs a chaperone? Can we trust her in the changing room with the tea trolley? We might never see her again. You better start baking Eleanor. We are going to need all the strength we can muster and your cakes will get us all moving alright Which reminds me - Don't forget the comode Jean. Julie, how's the knitting coming along? I am a bit concerned about Lyn. I don't think she will make it past the security men. She might have to resort to the scissors and hide them about her person. Must go, it's time for my nightly back flip practise

Well I have been trying out the curling for size. I have had foam ones, electric ones and also steam ones and have decided that I am curly enough!

Hope that you are all in training although I urge caution with the pistol, floor exercises and parallel bars. Appearance is everything and you don't want to make a mess of your hair. Especially you Jean and you Sheila with your more 'athletic' sports. You certainly don't want to dirty your leotards. I just hope that Jean will not try to wear those old spotted knickers underneath her leotard again. I was mortified when they were hanging below her bikini on Blackpool beach. Dr Who took off at such a speed when he saw them.

Sheila, Dr Who and Jennie have an affection for each other. He has joined us on many adventures especially in Blackpool when we were investigating the mystery of the DLA forms. Needless to say, they remain a mystery!

Cake making going well. I live my life in the garden shed baking over the barbecue which has been put away for the winter. Now experimenting with a sugar free version and when perfected, will attempt one made with vegetables. All tastes catered for.

I am so pleased that you have a trainer Jean. Mary knows all there is to know about springs and such like. Sounds like a great idea for the route to the bars. I take it that there will be bars at the olympic site? I cannot go far without a pernod for medicinal purpose of course! Will we be having our own bar with us? I think that it wouldn't be a good idea to have Kathleen in charge of the bar as I still remember her antics after all that Scotch! It is important to elect someone sensible as a priority, to be in charge of the carry out and the cake. Doreen must not be allowed as she sells anything and everything from her tea trolley. I was mortified when she sold all sorts to the Russian weight lifters at the Commonwealth games. Only Kathleens skills of negotiation got her out of that jail!

First job must therefore be to elect a suitable, responsible person asap.

Now Eleanor! Of course there will be bars at the Olympic site - Jean will be on them (well, she'll be parallel anyway or is that paralytic?) I have been practising one of your recipes and my floor exercises are only slightly better than last time's gold medal winner (a great idea to put the iron filings in!

I saw Doreen the other day. She is still practising her line out (ah! bless). Look Kathleen. What have I told you about messing with my pistols - I have the opening ceremony sorted. I will fire the cannon at 1pm and hopefully Julie will stop knitting ( I am so worried about that girl's wrists.) You will have enough on your hands (and probably, feet, hair, clothes) doing all the baking. We will need some good food down us when we have finished [blink.] Off for another practise session.

Well, girls, Sheila managed to outdo herself yesterday. She looked absolutely amazing tottering along in her pink leopard skin 12” heel less platforms a-la Lady Gaga dragging that blasted cannon behind her. (Glad you weren’t there, Dor – you’d have scratched her eyes out for those shoes). All I can say is that I hope no-one is planning on a trip to Lytham in the near future because you can’t get on the Prom. There was a small incident involving the cannon firing mechanism and a heel less shoe, which resulted in 3 balls being fired off in quick succession. The inner prom now resembles moon craters: the boating lake is no more – blown clean out of the water, and can you believe that the police are still trying to rescue Lyn who was blasted up to the top of the windmill sails carrying a large chain saw. Is anyone willing to aid the rescue party? I think Sheila’s scrummy cup cakes are partly to blame – they are on a par with Eleanor’s and I’m still wondering what she put in that pink icing.

What should have been a nice, sedate afternoon raising the profile of RA ended up as a bit of a blast!